Barcelona 5 - Real Madrid 0: Historic Rout in Camp Nou

Wow! I never imagined this. I've never seen a 5-0 in El Clasico (that wasn't on video tape). Here are a few quick stats and thoughts until I have time to go over this in more depth.

• I could watch the first goal over and over again. Xavi passes to himself with his back heel in front of goal?!?! That has to be one of the coolest goals I've ever seen - from a guy known more for his passes than his definition in front of goal. In 100 tries, how many times would he be able to repeat that goal?
• How amazing was David Villa? He didn't just open up the left side of the field, he tore a hole in it. His assists and goals were amazing.
• Could Guardiola please play Busquets, Xavi and Iniesta together in midfield in every important game? That combination was amazing.
• Where was Madrid? I thought that they would press up high and hold more possession than they did (35% or so). They couldn't get the ball back, couldn't keep it when they had it and barely had an attack worth mentioning. They didn't even defend well.
• In their first 12 games, Madrid let in 6 goals. Against Barca, they let in 5 in one game!
• This is the worst that Jose Mourinho (Madrid's coach) has ever lost in his career! Previous black marks were a 1-4 loss to Man U and two 0-3s.
• How will the Real Madrid player's respond to this humiliation?
• The last time Barcelona beat Real Madrid was in the 93/94 season when Romario was their forward and Cruyff was Barca's coach.
• Josep Guardiola has coached Barcelona in 5 Clasicos - all 5 ended in Barcelona victories.
• Under Guardiola, Barcelona has outscored Madrid 16-2!
• 5-0 is called "una manita" in Spanish because you hold up 1 hand (mano is hand, manita, or little hand, is the diminutive of hand) and it has 5 fingers - get it?
• I've seen this reported as a Manotazo or a big hand! It was a big win.
• This could have been much worse. This easily could have been 6 or 7-0. Imagine!

Here's are the highlights, I'll be back with more tomorrow.

The Decaffeinated Cup: A Copa del Rey Update

Many of Spain's soccer cognoscenti have suggested that the Copa del Rey's format needs to be revised. The current format doesn't provide enough of a handicap to big teams to make the competition interesting. After Wednesday's results that impression can only grow!

Baby Barça crushed hapless Ceuta 5-1 in Camp Nou. Real Madrid exorcised their ghosts of Copa's past with a 5-1 humiliation of Murcia. Even Sevilla got in on the act with a 6-1 royal beat down of poor Real Unión. There were few results that could be considered an upset.

Perhaps some would see an upset in Betis' elimination of Zaragoza, but despite the fact the Betis currently plays in the second division and Zaragoza is in the first, these two teams are virtual equals. Betis has long played in Spain's first division and has a rich palmares to prove it. Zaragoza, while usually a first-division team, only returned to the top flight this year after a rough patch several years ago. This was no upset.

Indeed few of the big home teams had much to play for. Atletico Madrid had won their away match 5-0, so there was little reason fight hard against Las Palmas. In the end they tied 1-1 in this second leg, for a 6-1 victory.

It seems clear that Spain needs to return to the 1-game format that they used until 6-7 years ago. Up to that point, the bigger team had to win on the smaller team's home field. There was 1 game and that was it. Then, in later rounds, teams would play a 2-game playoff to see who advanced. The format was much more friendly to the Davids of the Spanish soccer world. Let's bring that back.

At least these unbalanced competitions have given us some fun highlights. Here's the Baby Barca - Ceuta palizo, I'll post Madrid and Sevilla later if I can find them.

Real Madrid - Murcia: Must-Win Miercoles For Madrid

Today, Real Madrid has a must-win game in the Copa del Rey. Their opponent is modest Murcia, a team from Spain's third or Segunda B division. If Real can win, they advance in the Copa del Rey and go a long way to proving that this is the best Real Madrid team in almost 15 years.


First Los Blancos must beat Murcia. The away leg, in Murcia, ended in a 0-0 draw, despite the presence of most of Madrid's galatic arsenal.


They play today in the Madridista stronghold of Santiago Bernabéu. As if that weren't enough, Coach Jose Mourinho has asked the Madrid fans to come out and create a San-Siro-like atmostphere - in other words be loud and offensive with just a hint of violence. Whether los madrileños come out with chants or "va fan culo" or maintain their customary respect for their opponents, Bernabéu should be a stronghold for the team in white.


As a means of challenging his team, Jose Mourinho will start a much more "Spanish" lineup than usual. Expect to see Pedro León, young Sergio Canales and perhaps Esteban Granero. Mourinho may even allow one of the youth players to enter later in the game. While some may view this as a "b" lineup, Mourinho clearly expects the bench warmers to be more motivated. It's a good move that should provide Madrid with some fire while maintaining the surpise of a late entry into the game by Christiano Ronaldo or Mesut Ozil.

I expect the lineup changes, home crowd, overall history and excellent form of Madrid will bowl over Murcia. Look for the Madridistas to enjoy a fiesta of futból on this Must-Win Miércoles (Wednesday)! And, as Madrid progress in the Copa del Rey, look for Mou's men to consolidate their place as the best team from the capital since 1996-1997.

Ibrahimovic-Onyewu Brawl: Ibracadabra, More Proof of Ibra's Intellect

I would have like to have had a front-row seat to this one: overindulged, athletic Zlatan Ibrahimovic and big-as-a-house Oguchi Onyewu brawled in practice today.

Apparently the cause was Ibrahimovic's dirty tackle from behind that took defender Onyewu down. Gazzetta dello Sport qualified the tackle as "not that hard" but Onyewu didn't take it lightly.

The American, who was out almost all of last year and is playing for free this year, jumped up and grabbed Ibra by the throat! This caused an immediate reaction from the Swede.

I would have like to see Onyewu and Ibrahimovic go at it. I think Ibra needs to learn a little humility and Onyewu has the size to teach him.

Apparently, according to areanapoli.it it took about 10 players to pull the two apart. I look forward to posting a video later!

FC Kobenhavn 1 - FC Barcelona 1: Stalemate for Solbakken

Due to a TiVo glitch, I didn't get to watch the whole Kobenhavn - Barcelona game. What I did see left me with the distinct impression that Barca got all they could handle.

Barcelona scored first but Kobenhavn tied the score soon after. Barcelona seems to have hit their traditional 60+ % ball possession, but for much of the game that number seemed excessively high.

In fact, for large stretches of the last third of the game, the Blaugrana were barely able to get the ball. Kobenhavn pressured them from the top and almost completely plugged Barcelona's ball circulation from goal. This was the most impressive thing that I was from this upstart team. Their courage in pressuring Barcelona almost netted them the winning goal. N'Doye's potential winner was annulled for his push-off.

Barca fans will tell you that their team were superior - and they might have been - but it was a very slight edge. This was nothing like Barca's blow-outs of Lyon or Bayern in their championship year.

Just in case, you didn't think that the game was that close, Guardiola showed his nerves getting into a post-game fracas with Kobenhaven coach Stale Solbakken.

Enjoy the videos below.

Sevilla 4 - Athletic Bilbao 3: Another Reason to Watch Spain's La Liga.

TV Announcer: The Continental Soccer Association is coming to Springfield!  
              It's all here--fast-kicking, low scoring, and ties?  You bet!
        Bart: Hey, Dad, how come you've never taken us to see a soccer game?
       Homer: I...don't know.
TV Announcer: You'll see all your favorite soccer stars.  Like Ariaga! 
              Ariaga II!  Bariaga!  Aruglia!  And Pizzoza!
       Homer: Oh, I never heard of those people.
TV Announcer: And they'll all be signing autographs!
       Homer: Woo-hoo!
TV Announcer: This match will determine once and for all which nation is 
              the greatest on earth: Mexico or Portugal!

Quote from Simpson's Episode F501 

Funny as the Simpsons episode was, most US sports fans have this misguided impression of soccer. And, sometimes it's not even that misguided. But it sure missed the mark in Sunday's Sevilla - Athletico match.

This is why you need to watch soccer, and Spain's La Liga in particular. It doesn't get much more exciting than this!

Sevilla went up 3-0 in the 62nd minute. Normally at 3-0, a team owns the game. It's over and they can put in their development players to prove it. Not on Sunday!

Los leones (the lions) of Bilbao came roaring back like their namesake from the Serengeti. They brought the score to 3-2 before a questionable penalty (committed on Negredo, executed by Kanoute) put the game out of reach at 4-2.

Athletic didn't stop there either, they scored a 91st minute header to keep hope alive!

They could not however, pull even. Athletic ran out of time and Sevilla added a win to the post-Alvarez era.

All told, it was a breathless 30 minutes of soccer. I can think of very few sports that can serve up this kind of emotional roller coaster in such a short time.

Ride that football roller coaster with me with this embedded video: